Posted by: mommytoo | November 6, 2007


we have been desperately seeking a wedding ring that i can wear to work!  my usual one is beautiful, but tiny little diamonds skeeve me out when i’m up to my elbows in [insert grossest thing you can think of, here], even though obviously i wear gloves.  so i’ve been going without a wedding ring at work, and lately it really bothers me.  many of you know that it’s a lot of work to be out, and if you’re not consistently/constantly owning it, it’s easy to feel closeted.  everyone at work knows i’m married to a woman, and most know she’s pregnant.  but i’ve noticed that i look at people’s hands to figure out whether they’re married, and the idea that people look at mine and don’t know — well, it bugs me.  so.  when we got back tonight, there was a package waiting for me!

 it is just the teeniest bit big, which makes it perfectly comfortable.  we’ll see tomorrow whether it feels like it’s going to fall off when i wash my hands and put on/take off gloves all day.  it’s also thicker than i expected — at first i thought it was too thick, but when i put it on i immediately loved it.

pretty?  does it look like me?  i know, i know, there isn’t a lot to say about a plain band.  but humor me.



  1. We have plain bands. Yours looks very nice and like it can handle whatever it has to at work. I totally get it about wanting to be out. I never used to check out peoples hands to see if they were married, but then I got married and now I do it all the time. Sometimes I think wearing a plain band might also signal I’m not a “regular” straight wife, though that might be a bit of a subtle point for my co-workers, considering I am a mathematician/scientist and my colleagues don’t notice much other than their computers/experiments.

  2. are you out at work? d and i don’t have matching rings, because we have pretty different taste. but i love having a ring that is special from her, and that i can show off at work too!

  3. I’m out everywhere, including at work, not that that’s such a big deal around here (I’m in a big liberal city filled with academics). Of course, once there’s a kid on the scene it gets pretty much impossible to be at all closeted anyway (our daughter is 16 months, my wife gave birth and I very much remember a lot of what you write about)

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