Posted by: mommytoo | January 24, 2008

crossing every T, dotting every I

we met with the lawyer the other day!  it was scary and exciting and overwhelming and also calming.  i’ve been wanting to have this stuff done for a long time, and i feel much better getting started.  we’ll each have a will, a living will with health care proxy, and of course adoption stuff.  it gets somewhat complicated in terms of timing, because we have to cover the “you never know… god forbid…” decisions.  i’ll have decision-making capacity for d during childbirth, but the language also needs to cover the baby, when he’s born, so that i’ll be able to make decisions, should i need to.  but of course i can’t adopt the baby until he’s born.  not to worry — these lawyers do this stuff all the time!  not without us shelling out a ton of money, but it’s undeniably worth it.   

looking more like a baby, right?

it was really frustrating to hear from the lawyer what kinds of things we need to do to create the rights that hetero, married couples can have automatically.  did you know that in new jersey (no, we don’t live in new jersey but anyway) if a woman gets inseminated with sperm from a cryobank, her husband is automatically the legal father?  according to this lawyer, one of the problems with philadelphia is that the law has not caught up with all the different family situations and medical advances.  but even though it got me kind of worked up, it was also lovely to sit with someone who does this all the time — and i loved when d said “we want to be as bound to each other as possible.” 



  1. I’m new to your blog and have some catching up to do, but I have to say how exciting this post is! I can imagine that getting this close and having things put on paper is thrilling. Good for you two for sticking up for your family when the law makes it as difficult as possible. ox

    *off to read your archives*

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