Posted by: mommytoo | May 2, 2008

bruiser

nate weighs 9 pounds 9 ounces!  actually that was a few days ago, so now he’s even bigger.  he and d had some extra challenges with feeding, so i’m proud as a peacock.  he’s spending lots more time awake, and a bit more time crying, too.  but now that he’s almost 6 weeks old, he can be soothed by things besides eating!  so i don’t feel as helpless (“here, d, he’s crying”).  nights continue to be up and down: sometimes he sleeps well and wakes only to eat, but usually we each take at least one turn getting up with him and comforting him.  occasionally he seems to refuse to sleep unless he’s being held.

nate’s favorite thing, by far, is bath time.  he and d get into the nice warm water, and he gets completely serene.  i could never tire of watching his face in there: looking around, cooing, sucking his fingers.  we dribble water over his head and he looks so peaceful!  d would shower 10 times a day if she could, and it seems like nate got that gene!  afterwards he gets bundled in his little towel and we brush his hair.  actually we’ve learned to put a diaper on him immediately. ;)

we’re gradually getting adoption stuff done.  the lawyers are almost done with the paperwork (a little behind because he surprised us early), and we learned recently that in addition to having child abuse clearance checks done (which we both do for our jobs anyway), we have to get fingerprinted by the fbi.  we’re too tired to be offended at this point (oh no, are we losing our edge?), but it’s annoying to do anything extra when you are working so hard just to function and not fall asleep at weird times.

in some ways this new life/lifestyle feels so simple.  everything revolves around nate; our priorities are decided for us.  at the same time, though, we are both pushing ourselves really hard.  d is seeing private clients, which means figuring out our schedules (we’ve never had to coordinate so much), his eating, calling on friends and family to babysit, being okay with reaching out for help.  she’s a great therapist, but she’s working with less sleep and more distraction and she’s never had to deal with fees before, which is stressful and complicated.  i’m feeling more competent at my job, but instead of finding that i can phone it in, so to speak, i am almost less settled.  i have higher expectations of myself, and others do too.  i like that about my job, but i guess i didn’t realize i would take so long to let my guard down and relax a bit.  there is always more responsibility, and new goals.  and of course there’s the issue of missing nate.  it still stings every day.

i think we are both being taken to a different level of emotion, and it’s both surprising and totally expected.  it feels so human.

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Responses

  1. Tim and I have had to be finger printed 4 times now – it’s typical adoption procedure for every family, domestic adoption or international. Just hope the DOJ doesn’t lose your prints like they did ours.


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