Posted by: mommytoo | October 13, 2008

reigning it in

last week was hectic for all of us.  i worked nights, which of course throws me off completely.  i missed one whole day/night of sleep, and didn’t know what day it was for most of the week.  d has been worn out from so much time with nate, and waswith babysitters more than usual because of a few scheduling conflicts.  so many house expenses, and friday was finally pay day for me.  and meanwhile, we couldn’t do laundry so that’s kind of a mess.

it seems like nate has picked up on all this weird energy — it’s the kind of week that, a year ago, would have caused us to lay down and say “i can’t do it any more,” but of course we no longer have that option.  you know how babies can just feel when parents are happy, sad, frustrated, and (in our case) stressed out.  a few times last week, nate had new situations that we expected him to enjoy, and instead he either whined (so that we had to leave to walk him around) or had a meltdown (with his usual babysitter and with friends).

it’s heartbreaking when nate is sad, or scared, or unsettled.  he seems to get somewhat overstimulated in new places with lots of people (especially babies), and is showing the beginnings of stranger anxiety.  yes, i know it’s a developmental stage, object permanence, yada yada.  it’s really hard for all of us, not least of all the volunteer babysitters, whom we don’t want to alienate!

but also, i have to deal with the fact that he is no longer such a “good,” “easy” baby.  it isn’t so easy to pass him around the party, and i think i have gotten attached to the perception of him as so easy-going.  i like that he’s getting a little sassy and making his needs known, and i don’t mind working a little harder for him.  i want to give him as much freedom as possible to grow into his personality, and not try to figure him out or decide before he figures himself out.  so if he’s happy go lucky one day and cranky pants the next, it doesn’t have to MEAN anything about him, or me as a mother.  it’s just nate being nate — and he’s the best thing around!

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Responses

  1. I’m sorry you had a rough week, K. I think the adjustment as babies get older / less mobile / more aware of their wants and needs is really hard. It was like all of a sudden we felt like we couldn’t leave the house because we were so unprepared to deal with the meltdowns that seemed to come out of nowhere. He’ll adjust and you’ll adjust and it will get better, but you probably already knew that. :)


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