Posted by: mommytoo | February 12, 2009

some/thing borrowed

Something badge ftm 2009

this is part three of my humble contribution to freedom to marry week.  the activity is hosted by a great blog that is much more highly functioning than this one!

something borrowed… in the last several years – since being in a relationship with a woman – i’ve come to believe that borrowing is a major perk in a same-sex relationship.  i think i’ll never forget that on our first date, d and i were walking to the restaurant down the street from her apartment (park slope brooklyn, where else?) and she took chapst!ck out of her pocket to use it, then offered it to me.  i will offer and use lip balm to anyone (some girls are like that, some aren’t.  i don’t judge).  but the fact that it was on a first date, i remember having this sudden ohhh, she’s a girl moment.  maybe it goes without saying that she was the first woman i dated.  obviously it took us a long time to get to the point of sharing everything, and now there are some things we hardly differentiate.  i love it.  it’s so familiar and so great to be able to go into her drawers and find a sweater when i’m not in the mood for mine (it’s more beneficial when you’re the shorter one).  and it’s surprisingly… romantic?  that comfort with each other, it’s something larger in a same-sex relationship, at least for me.  let’s face it, lots of lesbians are attracted to people with a very different gender identity who dress differently, it isn’t really about the clothes.  i think for me, it’s more about enjoying the fact that we aren’t opposite sexes, we aren’t opposite anything.  we have shared experiences and similar tastes, and that’s a good thing.  sometimes i wear the engagement ring that i got her, instead of wearing my own, and it’s really fun and sentimental.



  1. What a sweet memory of your first date with d. How surprising that it was in the slope…lol. How adorable are you two that you wear her ring? Aww…

    I often wear my girlfriend’s clothes, too. I like carrying a piece of her with me during the day. Even when they have been freshly laundered, they still smell like her and it’s soothing. Actually in thinking about this issue, I wear her shoes, even though we are different sizes. She’s the fashionable one in our relationship…

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