Posted by: mommytoo | September 1, 2009

love goes on

one of the most interesting evenings in martha’s vineyard was in a town that i love, edgartown.

it all started in the car on the way to edgartown.  nate had his sippy cup in the back, full of water, and managed to dump the entire cup onto himself, soaking his pants, shirt, and diaper.  we didn’t have a change of clothes (silly us), so we went to a store to grab shorts and a shirt.  it took a few stores until we found things that fit and were also affordable, and meanwhile nate was really irritable, probably because he was soaking wet.  once we found clothes, d took the price tags to the cashier to pay, and i took nate, the new clothes, and a dry diaper into the dressing room.  i stripped him down and set him on his feet, holding himself up against the wall of the dressing room.  i grabbed a diaper and when i went to put it on him (you know how you have to wrestle a standing toddler to get the diaper on), i saw that he was peeing, right against the wall and onto the floor of the dressing room.  all i could do was laugh — what a boy!

at dinner, all was fine and normal.  i believe nate had pasta and ended up with more on the ground than in his belly — nothing out of the ordinary there.  he also got butter stains all over his new shirt, but whatever. 

after we ate, we wanted to do some window shopping.  nate still doesn’t want to walk on his own, but he also doesn’t want to rely on us.  and on this night, he discovered his new favorite thing — pushing his own stroller everywhere.  it’s slow, but we’re glad he’s working on walking, and it’s really cute.  of course if we just let him do it, he would fly down the street, or fall, or whatever.  for a while he pushed our friends’ daughter, which gave the stroller enough weight to slow him down and help him balance.  but once the stroller was empty again, we had to hold onto the handles.  but picture us holding the handles on the sly, because he kept pushing us away, wanting to do it on his own.  wouldn’t you think that a boy finding his independence might want to just walk? if so, you’d be wrong about this boy.  oh yes, and every 20 steps or so, he’d experiment with kneeling, and walking on his knees while pushing the stroller.

finally, after humoring him for a while and taking our time, we all decided to get some ice cream and head home, so the kids could get to bed.  this did not go over well with nate.  i think he wanted to walk all night.  he doesn’t usually care when we take control and make him stop doing what he wants — he might whine a bit, but he forgets soon enough, or gets distracted, or starts having fun with whatever we’re doing next.

this night was different!  i scooped him up and put him in the stroller, but had some trouble strapping him in.  because he was doing the back-arching thing!  you know, to keep me from putting him in.  i’m sure most of you know.  he screeeeched all the way up the block to the ice cream place, and continued to scream when we got inside, while i was ordering our ice creams, and finally calmed down once he had a few bites in him.

this was his first kinda/sorta tantrum.  it was a little embarrassing because the screaming filled the street as we pushed him along, but it didn’t last more than 5-10 minutes, and it could have been worse, for sure.  he hasn’t become a terror in the couple of weeks since then, either, although he continues to assert his independence.  so i can’t complain.

the truth is, i sort of welcome a freak-out here and there.  nate is always so well-behaved, i start to feel guilty after a while.  i was a “good girl” as a kid, and i grew up okay.  but i want nate to feel like he can lose his temper, and have everything be just fine.  i guess his temper-losing looks different for everyone — he cries and whines and pushes us away when we make him do something he doesn’t want.  but that kind of frustration – that all kids experience – seems really important to me, learning about limits, testing limits, getting angry, getting soothed, soothing oneself, seeing that life goes on, seeing that love goes on, and on and on.

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Responses

  1. Sounds like he’s really close to walking. Funny how they can do it just fine, but are too cautious to try it on their own for a long, long time.


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