Posted by: mommytoo | July 18, 2010

barefoot and 14 weeks

it is HOT.  this weekend i am wearing real maternity dresses for the first time, and i have to say, i kind of love it.  at the end of every day i complain to d “my belly is so heavy.”  i just feel tired of carrying it, especially because it’s hard to really just relax and let my belly… um, relax.  i think i sort of hold my belly in all the time, without realizing it?  the last week or so, people who know i’m pregnant are starting to comment “you look pregnant!”  which is a compliment, and nice to hear, but still sort of a strange experience.  in so far as it’s strange to have anyone commenting on your body!

this is the only non-work weekend of the summer that we’re home.  and we’re spending it the way you should spend a summer weekend — seeing friends,hanging around the neighborhood, napping.  this afternoon we went to the pool nearby and ended up having dinner there, which was so great.  the heat makes it difficult to be outside, and nate’s not feeling well.  he has been sick the last couple of days, with a fever — at one point almost 104.  he actually didn’t have a fever today, but he hasn’t really slept (and so neither have we) in a few nights.  sometimes when he’s sick, he doesn’t really get any symptoms except a fever.  and the stuff that goes with that, like crankiness, not sleeping well, not much appetite.  the doctor said it’s just one of those weird viral things, so it will pass, hopefully soon.  last night he could only sleep if he was basically attached to me — laying on my chest was his favorite for a couple of hours.

my oldest friend came to visit this past week, with her one year old daughter.  nate was very interested in “baby,” as he calls most babies (sometimes he adds the name).  he liked copying her crawling, and was concerned that she didn’t wear shoes enough (she’s not really walking yet).  he did not like that she played with his toys, but we worked it out.  mostly he loved her.  when he woke up in the morning and from naps while she was here, the first thing he asked about was the baby, and then he wanted to go straight to the guest room to knock on the door and see “baby doing?”  we saw another baby today, and he was thrilled.  he will be almost 3 by the time he is a big brother, and i hope by then he starts to understand that the baby will stay.  otherwise, there could be a rude awakening.  he recently started looking at baby pictures of himself and saying “nate baby,” he’s not exactly realized in the past that that baby in the pictures was him.

i have lots on my mind about nate, and the baby i’m cooking up, and how our lives are changing and growing.  i keep thinking that a lot of it will be great to blog about, but honestly i’m so tired at the end of the day that it feels impossible to put my thoughts together.  this experience – of being pregnant and preparing to give birth to a second child – is really interesting and wonderful and generally intense.  i think i’m pretty in touch with my feelings in general, and being pregnant heightens that.  maybe that’s part of the reason i’m so damn tired!  it seems like i kind of wear myself out.

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