Posted by: mommytoo | September 3, 2010

no news = good news

we got home from our long vacation yesterday, and today was a big day.  we dropped off nate at his new school this morning, it went incredibly smoothly.  he had a great day and even napped!  apparently the teacher rocked him to sleep in her arms at nap time — he must have felt very comfortable with her, because he doesn’t sleep for many people, and he doesn’t sleep if he’s uneasy in any way.  i will write more about his new school another time, the switch has been a big deal in our family.

after we dropped off nate, we went for an ultrasound.  it was strange, almost eerie, going for our 20 week scan.  if i hadn’t had the bleeding several weeks ago, i wouldn’t have had an earlier ultrasound, and this is when we would have learned about the hand.  anyway, the ultrasound was fine.  they don’t see anything unusual besides the hand.  the ultrasound took a while, because one of the doctors did it and they just aren’t as experienced as the tech would have been.  which is fine, but it can be stressful, holding your breath and waiting to see and hear everything while they basically dig around my abdomen.  at the very end, they got some shots of both hands, baby was sort of grasping them together.  they really can’t see exactly what is going on — possibly thumb, possibly forefinger, possibly both… and the other fingers are even less clear.

once that was done, we still had a few hours till the next appointment.  d did some work in a coffee shop while i took the bus to center city to look for maternity clothes.  i tried on lots, didn’t buy any, but am finally feeling ready.  i’ve got a belly that is big enough that even i admit i look pregnant, not just chubby.  after seeing pictures of myself on the beach in a two-piece, i was kind of shocked.

so i go back to west philly, and after lunch we went to the children’s hospital, where they did a fetal echocardiogram.  the hospital is really comfortable and pleasant (i’ve seen my share, between work and life).  the echo was less stressful, mostly because we had a feeling it was going to be good news.  still, it took a while to get all the views, i had to turn onto my side a few times and even spend a few minutes on my belly, to get him moved around.  afterwards, we sat down with the cardiologist and he told us what we basically knew — the heart looks fine, the amnio looks fine, the whole body except the hand looks fine.  which is great, but the mystery remains.  if this is all we ever see, that’s great, but since there’s a limit to what we can find out in utero, it’s just a matter of waiting.

i don’t consider myself to be a very patient person, and i think this is one of the many lessons i’m going to learn throughout baby’s life.  sometimes you just have to wait and see, and find some way to be at peace with that.  i keep finding more things to learn, more areas of growth, in this situation.  a lot of the time, i’m not that interested in growing, i’d rather just have a baby with all his fingers, and learn my life lessons another way.  still, i remain grateful for what appears to be a healthy baby (as much as anyone ever can tell), and being at the children’s hospital today was a good reminder.

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