Posted by: mommytoo | September 23, 2010

no one ever said this would be easy…

ever feel like there simply aren’t enough days in the week?  i’m having one of those months.  i started my clinical placement last week, and it’s challenging to get all my hours in.  i work 2 12-hour shifts a week (part time), and i need to complete what comes to about 16 hours a week in clinicals.  but the way my instructor’s schedule works, i will be doing half days instead of full days, and therefore being there more days (obviously).  so here i am, trying to squeeze these hours in, shifting my work schedule around, and sadly accepting that i am not going to see d much this fall.  it’s temporary, but we are about to become one of those couples who doesn’t see each other much — for the most part, the only weekend days i’m not working are the ones she is working (or out of town).

in the summer, i spent a lot of time worrying about how busy the fall was going to be.  since may, we’ve known it would be on top of the fact that i’d be pregnant, so it might be more physically difficult for me to spend so many hours on my feet, on the go, with extra stress.  but now, as i put my head down and walk straight into it, i find a little bit of panic in my heart.  and maybe with that, some relief that every day, i am getting through, and i am one day closer to the new year, when i will be done with this semester and getting ready for a new son to cover with kisses.  maternity leave will not be the time off that i’m sure i’ll long for, but maybe it will be a bit easier to get a few months of clinical placement done without my usual long days of work.

i actually do better – emotionally – when i am busy.  i was sad to come home from vacation at the end of the summer, but if i’m honest with myself, i have to say that it is not good for me to have too much free time.  people have been telling me to take care of myself, but sometimes for me, that means getting things done and feeling productive.  i do love napping and lounging and prenatal yoga, and i hope to find time for some of that, too.  but the only thing i’m really going to miss is family time.

i did have a wonderful day with nate today.  his new school is jewish, and he has days off for even the little holidays.  today and tomorrow they are closed for sukkot, and next week there is a holiday i have literally never heard of (not that i’m such an expert), for which he has another 2 days off.  today we went to the gym – i took a yoga class, he played at the child care, which he loves – and then to the library with friends.  after lunch, we took a nap, he went to sleep in 7 minutes and i’ve never been so grateful.  then we went to visit d at work, she teaches two classes on thursdays and we hung out for a little while in between.  even grocery shopping was kind of fun and not stressful, he was a dreamboat.

i really needed a day like this with him, and am so grateful to have had it.


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